Start a “Honey-Do” List

One of the things my wife and I have found is that keeping a running “Honey-Do” list of things for me to do is essential to getting the most out of our female led home. By tracking and prioritizing the things she needs to have done around the house or errands she needs completed, we’re able to ensure that I’m always aware of what she needs from me. Whenever I have a moment to serve her, I always know what I should do next. She gets the satisfaction of knowing that I always have things to do for her and the ability to keep tabs on what I’m up to and getting done.

We use a shared app called todoist instead of a traditional notepad or whiteboard so that we can stay on the same page about what she wants to be done no matter where we are. When she thinks of something she needs, she adds a task to the list, gives it a priority and sometimes a due date, and then she knows it will promptly be taken care of. When she enters a task, I get a notification. When I complete a task, she gets one.

I get satisfaction whenever I can check something off the list, knowing that her needs are met and showing her that she can rely on me. By keeping the list full, she is also able to ensure there is always something to keep me busy when she wants to be alone. Although I don’t typically get rewarded for completing the tasks I’ve been assigned, when I am looking to go above and beyond to show my submission, I will often try to complete as much of the list as I can before returning to her. The list is always longer than I could complete in even a few days, and often includes stretch goals or tasks to work towards over time.

We don’t use my to-do list to track regular chores- cooking, cleaning, or other daily routines, only special projects and requests. So while we wouldn’t have “Vacuum the living room” on the list, we might have “Organize my closet,” “Drop off my dry cleaning,” or some other one-off request. Because it’s essential to anticipate her needs before she expresses them, I sometimes add tasks for myself, although I always wait for her approval before completing them. I also just like her to know that I am thinking about her.

My wife and I have found that using a “Honey-Do” list enables clear communication and ensures that the submissive partner is always aware of his responsibilities and the tasks that need to be completed so that the dominant partner’s expectations can be met. It fosters a sense of collaboration, understanding, and mutual satisfaction, strengthening the bond between us, reinforcing the dynamic of our relationship, and contributing to a well run female led home.