In traditional relationships, gender roles often prescribe certain expectations and responsibilities. The man is expected to be the breadwinner and provide financial support for the family, while the woman is responsible for maintaining the household and raising the children. The man is seen as the head of the household and makes important decisions, while the woman is expected to be submissive and supportive of her husband’s decisions. In a female led relationship (FLR), regardless of who works, stays at home, or makes the most money, the man is submissive and supportive of the woman’s decisions.
In a female led home, while the woman takes charge, the man works to make her life easier and support her as head of the household. The man also supports the woman by being attentive to her needs and preferences. If the woman expresses a desire for something specific, such as a certain type of cleaning product or a particular routine, the man makes every effort to incorporate that into their household operation. In addition to these practical contributions, the man also works to create a supportive and positive emotional environment in the home. This includes showing appreciation for the woman’s efforts, expressing love and affection, and being a patient listener when she needs to talk.
In our home, in addition to the traditional responsibilities of yard work and maintenance, I am responsible for anything that might be considered housework, unless my wife chooses to do something of her own desire. I keep the house straightened and clean. I do all of the cooking, dishes, and laundry. I make the beds, vacuum, clean the bathrooms. I make lunches, get the kids ready and take them to school. I admittedly strive to go above and beyond for my wife; It’s part of our relationship dynamic. Others may find a different balance of responsibilities works better for their home.
I am not a stay-at-home husband, though my wife and I both work from home full-time. However, I do prioritize servitude and spending time homemaking. Serving her is my pleasure. At her desk there is a bell she uses to summon me whenever she needs me. If she wants something, I get it for her. If she wants something done, I do it. I take great pride and satisfaction in making her life as leisurely, enjoyable, and fulfilling as possible. She is the head of our household and I defer to her wishes in all matters. Although it may seem like this arrangement mirrors the pitfalls of traditional marriage, our lifestyle offers several benefits to both of us.
The positive effects of cleanliness and order in the home cannot be overstated. A clean and well-organized living space has numerous benefits for both physical and mental well-being: A clean home can help prevent the spread of germs and bacteria, reducing the risk of illness and infection; A tidy home can help promote a sense of calm, and a well-managed household can reduce stress for everyone in the home. You’re able to feel clean and comfortable. You’re free of the distraction of disorder. You’re able to relax and decompress. There are benefits specific to each partner as well.
Taking on the leadership role in a household allows the woman to exercise her strengths and skills in ways that are fulfilling and rewarding. By expressing what she expects in her home, she establishes an open understanding with her man. As she is able to shape the household environment to align with her values and preferences, her increased control can lead to greater feelings of autonomy and empowerment. These feelings of power can in turn produce confidence, satisfaction, and appreciation for the man working so hard to put her on a pedestal.
Before my wife felt like she could be direct with her demands, they manifested as anxiety and irritation. She would worry that things she’d considered weren’t attended to, and nag me about them until I did something. Now, she understands that she can tell me exactly what needs to be done, and is relieved as I actively work to alleviate her anxieties. She sees my submission as an act of devotion, and our home runs smoothly as she sees fit.
When a man takes on the supportive role in a household, he can be both engaged and fulfilled by his domestic responsibilities. Because there is no end of things to do around the house, the man is able to fully engage in meaningful work without needing to create distractions. Because the woman is satisfied, he can feel valued and respected for the contributions he makes to the household, which can be deeply fulfilling.
It may seem like a lot of work, but my chores don’t feel like a hassle to me at all. Every task I complete improves the quality of our lives or allows our home to function. It is rewarding to know that my wife appreciates my work around the house, and that she is inspired to take on her responsibilities as the head of our home with equal diligence. In the mornings the stage feels set for a productive day, and in the evenings we are able to unwind in an uncluttered, relaxing environment. I go through my day from task to task, fulfilled by the work I put into our home. Through submission to my wife as the head of our home, I am able to achieve Zen in the art of homemaking.
The degree of servitude and cooperation varies by preference and circumstance from couple to couple, yet many have found that some form of female led home allows both partners to get the most out of their lives together. What has worked in our household may not work in yours, but by prioritizing the woman’s needs and desires, the submissive man is able to fulfill his role and fully engage in domestic work while the dominant woman is able to feel respected, supported, and elevated. Together they are able to build a fulfilling life in a clean, well-run, enjoyable home.